I was pregnant, frightened, completely confused and overwhelmed with guilt over my pregnancy. I had given a child up for adoption just a year earlier, and I was in no condition to have or parent another baby.
I remember feeling so guilty and stupid all at the same time. I kept thinking how could I let this happen again? How can I keep this baby after having just let go of his brother? I can not lie to you, it wasn’t easy and I didn’t choose adoption because I was lazy or because I just didn’t want to be a mom. I chose it because it was what was best for my child.
My innocent children deserved a fair chance at life – which, at the time I couldn’t have given them and I knew it. I was already raising one little boy on my own; and although I loved him dearly, I knew I wasn’t able to give him the love, emotional or financial support he deserved. I was just a kid myself and so was the father.
The day I called the adoption center, I was desperate to say the least. I had no interest in calling the agency that had done the first adoption for several reasons; but mostly because they were just not warm or caring enough for my taste. I decided if I was going to do this again, I was going to work with the best people I could find and I am happy to say I succeeded!
I called and talked with many lawyers and agencies that day and was grateful for the experience of the first adoption to assist me in asking all the right questions. When I called the Sacramento Adoption Center, Mary answered the phone and I liked her immediately.
She was very warm, genuine and knowledgeable. When I mentioned the prior adoption she was positive and encouraging. She told me she admired me for my first decision and admired me even more for doing it again. She and Tom were so supportive that day. I can’t put my finger on it, but I could just tell they were different, that they cared!
I finally realized that by giving my boys up for adoption I wasn’t abandoning them, but giving them the greatest gift I could. I felt at ease with my decision for the first time in a long time and I will never forget how much that one conversation changed my perspective.
The Sacramento Adoption Center was there for me. They gave me the support necessary to decide how I was going to move forward. Tom assured me that, if I was sincere about finding the right home for my baby, they would get me through this. And they did! There I was, less than two months from delivery without a game plan or parents for my little guy. I was terrified. Tom found a place for my family and me to stay and I was able to get my head straight. After a few days, I was ready to start meeting couples and eagerly begin the search for the perfect match.
I cannot express how important this is. The match is everything! At least it was to me. I needed to know my gift to the adoptive parents would be appreciated, loved and cherished. At night when I would wake up and feel my baby move inside of me, I had to know I was protecting him and his future with the best parents I could find. Tom and Mary have a unique sense for this and it makes all the difference.
I wish I could share all the wonderful details, which led up to finding my little guy’s mom and becoming friends, but there just isn’t enough time. All I can say, is that Tom, Mary and everyone else at the Sacramento Adoption Center immediately went to work to make our little miracle a reality. They consistently supported my decisions and provided me with the necessary tools to make some very hard choices. I never felt pressured and I always had a sense that they truly cared about my well-being and most importantly, my baby.
Looking back, I have no doubt that all these things happened for a reason. I can proudly say I’ve gone on to be a mother of 5 (all boys, three of whom I parent)! I am happily married to the man of my dreams. There is life after adoption. I truly believe that people’s actions during difficult and unexpected times give a window into who they really are. That being said, whether you are a birth mother or looking to adopt, welcome home! You have come to the right place and you have found great people.
Thanks for letting me share my experience with you.